good. grief.

On July 29, 2010, in frogging, hate it, knitting, by Lori

What in the hell is wrong with me – you know how sometimes the simplest things are the hardest?! Well, after thinking about my endless sleeve dilemma (and whether to cast on a small purse project), I decided to go ahead. I had a long subway trip this afternoon, an hour there and another hour back, and it’s far too muggy to schlep my Peasy – and it’s too unwieldy for subway knitting, anyway.

So I cast on a very simple hat – the Sockhead hat, by Kelly McClure. COULDN’T be easier. Cast on 144, do 4″ of 2×2 rib, then 9″ of stockinette. I have some very lovely Addi turbos, and a fun yarn, wham bam. I cast on, carefully counting and recounting to be sure, before I headed to the subway. Knit the first round of ribbi….wait a minute. Why do I have an extra 2 stitches? It should be knit 2 purl 2 then knit 2, to start the next round! Plow ahead, just have one little section of knit 4, who’ll notice. The long ribbing section is folded over for double warmth, I’ll just be sure to keep it at the back when I wear the hat.

But I got to my appointment a few minutes early, and sat down to recount the stitches. 154!! Ten too many! What the hell. Rip out the 4 rows I’d done, will cast on during the subway ride back.

So I cast on, and started knitting – like 20 stitches, or so. Realized I was knitting with the long tail. Tink those stitches, start again with the actual yarn that goes to the ball, LORI. Then I realized I was just knitting knitting knitting. Dang it! Ribbing! Ribbing! 2 x 2 ribbing! Tink those stitches.

And stop for a while. I know this kind of thing happens to you too. Don’t you hate it when it does?

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

i know i don’t look my age, but….

On July 29, 2010, in silly, by Lori

No one ever believes me when I say I’m 51. I know, that’s true for nearly everyone, whatever their age. But it’s one reason I don’t mind being 51 – the buggy-eyed response, the NO WAY, the “your kids are how old?” I think if people had no reaction at all when I gave my age, I might not like being 51 quite as much. :)

I started college when I was 36, graduate school when I was 40, and I finished my PhD when I was 45. What this means is that I spent the bulk of my middle years among people who were considerably younger than me. I thought we were the same, and it usually took a reflective surface to remind me that they probably didn’t. Still, I think it’s one situational reason I’m kind of young for my age, whatever the hell that means.

But I wasn’t prepared for this:

My New York age is “28″

This New York age puts you-generally speaking-into the young category. That’s what you were hoping for, right? Run and tell your friends. Then get drunk (as usual). Then sleep it off. Then pop an Adderall. Then come back and consider experimenting with a more mature type of New York life (just once in a while). Have you ever been to the Village Vanguard or the Living Theatre? Eaten at Elaine’s? Taken a date to Michael Feinstein? Before you laugh, check ‘em out and see what old-school NYC experiences you can add to the new.

What’s your New York age? Take the Time Out New York quiz and find out!

And I answered each question absolutely honestly. Which means I said I don’t even remember the last time I was out until 4am. For example. I get my caffeine from coffee (not cocaine). And still, at the end, I’m a 28-year old NYer.

Who knits a whole lot. They didn’t ask me about that one.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

Maybe, in your life, you once had a relationship that was unsatisfying, but there wasn’t really anything wrong with the person. Everyone said Oh, s/he’s so great, such a nice person, funny, etc. I did once, and I agreed with them! Still, “perfect” as he seemed to be, it was not a good relationship for me. Around that time, I heard Joan Baez sing a song that included the line I used as this blog post title: a saint is hard to live with at home. It cracked me up, it felt very familiar and personally true, and obviously it stayed with me.

This line came to mind this morning when I saw the following article in the NYTimes:

we're perfect

Yep – that’s what it says. More city preschoolers are perfect. Test scores show. To me, that suggests that the tests are imperfect, or imperfect for assessing what they need to assess. Had I seen those data, I’d have written an article pointing out the problems with the test. But New Yorkers – you know how they are – instead say that we’re just perfect.

As a Texan, I really get that, and it’s one thing I find dear about New Yorkers. Well, dear and really irritating. Just like people get irritated (or worse) with Texans for their/our views of themselves (ourselves). NYers and Texans should either get over ourselves, or at least keep our mouths shut a little more often. :)

And look at this – what do we see in my gigantic knitting bag next to my place on the couch:

peasy and mondo, mixing it up together in the bag

That’s my Peasy sweater (I’m knitting a sleeve right now) and my Mondo Cable Cardigan (also on a sleeve). Two sweaters! But lost in sleeveland, the seemingly endless land of stockinette tubes. Yesterday I did a little Peasy sleeve knitting, then a little Mondo sleeve knitting, then back to Peasy. It didn’t feel like too much of a break, switching to the other. I don’t have a purse knitting project going right now, and I keep thinking I ought to cast on something small and quickly-finishable, but then I know I’d just do that instead of , and the sleeve-knitting elf hasn’t found my apartment yet so if it’s going to be done, I’ll have to do it.

Everything there is to do in this world has a bit that’s less fun than the others. I read an article by Jane Patrick in one of the first issues of Handwoven, where she talked about how much she hated sleying the reed (I think that was the detail). Then she realized that’s a necessary task, she’s always going to have to do it when she weaves, so she tried to reorient herself to the idea. That happened to me when I took my intro stats course as an undergrad – at first I hated it, but I realized it would be my essential tool so I found another way to think about it, and now I adore stats. So my mission is to find another way to conceptualize the endlessness of .

Happy Thursday, y’all.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

c’mon….it’s really The Onion, right?

On July 27, 2010, in silly, by Lori

I was comparing smartphones on CNet, and some ad on the page led me to the LA News Monitor, or so the masthead says. I draw your attention to 2 items I added a red mark to:

First, the big red check. REALLY? Webs just happens to be advertising here? Or is it some evil background web marketing deal, where my IP address/ computer “knows” that I visit Webs now and then (OK, a lot), so their ad was inserted just for me? (If it was really smart, it’d know that I don’t need no stinking ad.)

But this is the part that left me shaking my head, and going back to the masthead repeatedly to be sure it wasn’t The Onion. See the 2 lines I highlighted in red? “Britney Spears is providing mental support to Mel Gibson”????????

Hello, pot? This is the kettle calling. Or, if you prefer, I could say something about the blind leading the blind. I still think it’s some kind of prank by The Onion. Granted, I quit keeping up with Britney’s and Mel’s doings many many years ago, but still. This can’t be real, right?

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

I don’t remember who made the observation – why did Thoreau say “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!”? To be truly simple, shouldn’t he have just said Simplicity!

Anyway, that struck me this morning when I was handwinding a ball of madelinetosh merino, in graphite, for my Mondo Cable Cardigan. The yarn is lofty and soft, and the subtle variation in color that characterizes madelinetosh yarns is physical and lovely. And the resulting ball is beautiful, showing the work of a hand rather than a machine.

madelinetosh merino in graphite

handwound ball of graphite-colored lofty merino

Now and then a moment of simplicity strikes, you know? A moment of just stopping the buzz and noticing. I’m trying to help those moments happen more frequently.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

My kids were weird, it’s true. On parents’ night in kindergarten, you know how the teacher would post the kids’ things all over the walls, and you’d walk around looking for your kid’s stuff? One year, the kids filled out a list of their favorite things, one of which was food. I walked around, reading “my favorite food is pizza…” “…hamburgers…” “…macaroni and cheese…” “…artichokes..” The last one, that was always my kid.

They loved jug band music. My son cracked us up singing If You’re a Viper, by Jim Kweskin and the jug band. They loved . LOVED ‘em.

So the totally impromptu dance that Marnie did with her dad at her wedding included a bit from Way Out West, one of their favorite films. I’ll bet Marnie hasn’t seen that in years – maybe even since she was a kid.

they just spontaneously did this

the originals. and they really were.

And here’s the very short video – it’ll make you laugh. At least, it makes ME laugh. And get all misty-eyed, remembering my nutty little kids, parked in front of the TV falling over laughing at it.

The video is 2:01 in length, and they ‘commence to dancin’ at 33 seconds. I start my day with happiness in my heart.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

one effect of aging

On July 25, 2010, in big picture stuff, recommendations, by Lori

When I taught social psychology, I was always most eager to make students think carefully about the dark side of social influence. The Milgram studies, undertaken in the aftermath of The Third Reich, which showed that people would — despite their obvious misery and discomfort — administer a probably fatal shock to someone in another room, because they were told to (note: there wasn’t an actual person in the other room). My students said “oh, that was the 1950s, it wouldn’t happen now.” The Zimbardo prison study, which was shut down much sooner than anticipated because the students randomly assigned as prison guards became sadistic, and those randomly assigned as prisoners became profoundly withdrawn, depressed. My students said,”oh, that was the 1970s, it wouldn’t happen now.” “Not me, I wouldn’t have gone along.” “Not me, I wouldn’t have become sadistic.” “Not me.”

In a way, this gets at the essence of social psychology; especially in our western culture, we like to believe that we ourselves, our minds, our choices, are responsible for what we do and believe. Me, I decide. We become uncomfortable when told that the situation is leading us to behave in a particular way; we resist believing that something outside us influences us without our ‘knowledge’.

I think it’s extremely important to recognize that it’s not just those people back then, those people in that country, those people in that culture, those people. Them. We are them. (Of course people are also capable of rising above the situation, of acting from a thoughtful place; I’m not making an “always” claim here.)

Because this is important to me, I have been drawn to thinking about the horrors of the Holocaust. I tend to read about it if I hear of a good analysis, or fictional work. I tend to watch the movies – fiction or nonfiction. I was so moved by Everything Is Illuminated, the book and the movie.

So I watched a movie last night that was recommended by Tammy, a ravelry friend and regular commenter on my blog — Conspiracy, which is about the meeting outside Berlin in which the “final solution” was laid out and set in motion. Tammy mentioned it because Colin Firth is in the movie, and I’d just written about another of his movies, A Single Man. I looked up Conspiracy and saw that Colin Firth, Kenneth Branagh, and Stanley Tucci were in it – I love all three of them! It wasn’t available for instant streaming, so I moved it to the top of my regular queue, and we watched it last night.

The actors were wonderful, without exception. I wondered how they dealt with the roles they were playing – Tucci especially, who did a truly incredible job playing Eichmann. I felt a cold shiver all through my body and in my stomach when he came on the screen. Eichmann. The cinematography was beautiful, the direction subtle, the performances very strong. I have to see more movies with Colin Firth, and soon!

But I find that as I get older, it’s harder and harder to bear these things. It’s harder and harder for me to listen or watch as a people are described and treated as ‘vermin.’ As inhuman. Not human. Less than human. I never found it easy to bear, but I could bear it because I wanted to think, understand, remember. Now I’m not so sure I can bear it. I cried throughout the movie. I was so nauseous I thought I’d be sick. Often I couldn’t even look at the screen. Almost the entire movie was set around a long table, with the parties to the meeting simply talking – no actions were performed, nothing actually implemented, just talking. And I couldn’t watch.

It’s a very powerful movie, I highly recommend it. I didn’t know anything about that meeting, I didn’t know this part of history at all. When I was a little younger, I could’ve watched it more easily.

Now, I need a lot of knitting and contemplation to get myself back in order. Hello, Peasy.

.

Related posts

bloggy blogginess

On July 24, 2010, in bloggie stuff, by Lori

I’ve been a fan of blogging since the very early days – I started on LiveJournal, moved to Blogger, then to WordPress, and now I obviously have a domain and host my own site.  I’ve had a number of blogs, but now I mainly just work here on Thrums, and on Luscious. (besides our travel blogs, of course, but those are more like travel journals.)

HOWEVER. I have a blog project with my husband, who is a clinical psychologist; we maintain a blog together called psychobabble, since we’re both psychologists. His posts revolve around therapy and related issues, and mine will run the gamut. I thought I’d mention it, just in case you’re interested in psych stuff. On psychobabble I write under my maiden name, to keep some separation from my personal online life and his practice. I just wrote a post about stress – if you ever feel stressed out, you might want to read it! (I should have listed knitting as a cure for stress. :) )

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

ohdearithinki’mhooked

On July 23, 2010, in knitting, love it, sweaters, by Lori

Kelly and my other sweater-knitting friends: I’m in. I’m totally in. I get it. It’s addictive. Knitting sweaters = f.u.n. Want to see where I am with Peasy?

look at that! I'm knitting a sweater!!

this photo has the most accurate color - green pea soup

the lacy front panels

Yeah. I’ll be doing this a lot more. And if you haven’t tried knitting with it yet, Rowan Felted Tweed is AMAZING. I’m just sayin.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

OK, see, I was 23 years old, living in Austin Texas. My dad had died four months before, but I was just so so thrilled to be finally in labor, and about to see my firstborn child. Labor was long, as 1st labors often are, and she was nearly born tomorrow — 11:47pm she finally came out, screaming her lungs out. A head full of dark hair, and roly-poly rolls around her little fat neck. So cute, it makes my teeth grind just remembering how much I wanted to eat her up.

In most of the photos from her first months, you never see my face or head, because it was always leaning down into her crib. I never let the poor little thing alone; I held her all the time, nursed her all the time, never let her out of my attention. (Note: I really learned my lesson, and when baby #2 came along, she learned how to cry a little bit and wait for half a minute!)

All my thoughts today are with my daughter Katie, in Austin. The person who made me a mother, and saved/created my life in doing so. Happy birthday, Katie-Kate. (And Katie, look at the music widget below the photos. :) )

LOTS of photos after the jump: CLICK to continue reading it was 20 (8) years ago today…....

Continue reading »

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

Thanks to the lovely blogger at perches in the soul (do check out her blog, if you don’t already follow her!), I just learned about something that’s going on this Saturday. It’s a public and global project called Life In A Day; we’re supposed to videotape some portion of our day and upload it to YouTube. Quoting from perches:

“YouTube is working with director Kevin MacDonald & producer Ridley Scott to create a documentary about 1 day in history and the 6 billion perspectives of humanity as we live it.”

Here’s another link about the larger project: here.

Cool, right? I’d love to see that documentary. I’ll toss in my few frames, won’t you do it too? What will I film? Maybe I’ll get my husband to videotape me knitting, or maybe we’ll go to Central Park (but there’s a good chance of thunderstorms Saturday). What would you film this Saturday?

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

My sweet older daughter Katie got married in June 2008 (easiest anniversary ever to remember: 06/07/08). Hers was a much more traditional wedding than Marnie’s, complete with puffy white dress, groomsmen in tuxedos, rosebud corsages, and all that happy jazz. She hired a professional photographer, who caught this very enigmatic shot that I rediscovered yesterday while wandering through her online photo album:

me dancing with my son

Several things to note, before turning attention to the odd glance:

1- That’s my daughter Katie, dancing with her husband Trey, in the right side of the photo

2 – That’s Marnie visible in the back, in the green maid-of-honor dress

3 – Yes, that’s right, I’m wearing the same dress at Katie’s wedding as I wore at Marnie’s. First, both girls crazily decided to have OUTDOOR weddings in the HOT SUMMER, so something extremely cool was called for. And second, I bought it specifically to wear to Katie’s wedding, and when Marnie’s came up I decided to call it my “dress I wear to my daughters’ weddings.” I’ll have to keep it safely aside to wear in the future when my youngest girl gets married, which will probably be several years, since she’s a sophomore in college.

It’s a very long story with my beloved son – lots of very long stories with him, to be more accurate – so I know everything that lives behind that glance, behind my close hold on him. I store the photo here so I don’t forget about it again.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

reining in consumption

On July 22, 2010, in knitting, by Lori

I don’t know if you’re like this, but I have a very itchy mouse-finger. When I see yarn or tools or patterns I like, click! click! click! Right into the electronic shopping cart. Or the Ravelry queue. More, more, MORE! About a year ago, I realized that I could stem the spending tide by putting things in electronic shopping carts and clicking “save” instead of “check out.” That seemed to do the trick, somehow; it satisfied that momentary craving, and after a while, I didn’t really need whatever it was I’d put in the shopping cart. My Amazon account is like that too.

Now, though, now that I’m in the period between having a stable income and figuring out how to have at least enough of an income, it has a new urgency. Frugal is my new watchword, at least in this interim period.

So last night I went “shopping” in my ravelry account. I looked at the excesses in my queue (though I’m not as bad as some! one raveler has 6,182 projects queued and 20,141 things faved. I’m going to have to unfriend her because when I look at my friends activity page, it’s always flooded by her and we don’t have the same taste). Anyway – long diversion there, sorry – I looked at my 183-item queue and put some real order in it. After I finish the projects on the needles, what do I really want to knit? Really?

I have 10 projects ready to go, matched with yarn that’s already in my stash:

  1. Austin Hoodie, knit with my porcelain tosh merino light
  2. Sockhead hat, knit with some cool sock yarn my youngest daughter gave me for mother’s day
  3. A Noro striped scarf, using some really beautiful and soft Noro I stashed
  4. Inaugural Sweater, with yarn I bought specifically for it
  5. and A Very Braidy Cowl, with yarn I got from Kelly when she was destashing

yarns

1. madelinetosh, tosh merino light (colorway: porcelain), 2. Regia Galaxy – Jupiter, 3. Noro Silk Garden, colorway 267, 4. Noro Silk Garden, colorway 275, 5. , 6. crystal palace merino5 color 9454

And 5 more ready to go after those. There’s something that feels so good about imposing constraints, limits, order.

See? No more wedding talk. :)

.

Related posts

I promise I’m not going to keep going on and on about this, but a photo came in from my daughter Katie’s collection and it’s really how I wanted to end my wedding posting – it says it all. Thank you Katie!

And a couple of Marnie dancing with her parents:

Marnie dances with her dad - this is SO them

Marnie and me, doing our private dance to our song

I hope seeing the pictures makes you feel — even a little bit — some of the joy.

.

Related posts

Tagged with:
 

What an emotional and wonderful experience the last several days has been. It’s really one of the highlights of life, when a child gets married. Marnie’s and Tom’s wedding was really beautiful. (here’s a link to the flickr set, with a growing number of photos)

Late afternoon:

me, writing notes for my toast. They put me last because they (rightly) knew that my speech would be the most emotional.

A silent auction of some of Marnie's prints, to benefit the Human Rights Campaign (HRC)'s support of gay marriage

Tom's friend Gwendolyn did Marnie's hair and makeup

FINALLY! It’s 7pm, time to head down to the prairie, where the ceremony will be held.

we all walked through the forest, past the sugar shack, to get to the prairie where we waited for Tom and Marnie to appear.

and here they come! We all broke out into applause when they appeared. Tom's niece Ella had gathered a bunch of prairie wildflowers for Marnie to carry, at the last minute.

This is SO THEM. Even in this moment, there was a lot of laughter.

married! Joe just pronounced them married, after the most beautiful ceremony and vows. And there was much applause, laughter, tears, and joy.

Then we all returned to the Lodge, for a wonderful dinner catered by a local restaurant. They don’t do catering – they just did this for Marnie and Tom. They bought all local ingredients for the menu, purchased the morning of the wedding.

Marnie watches Tom order his food - I love her gaze at him

a moment's pause. I think she looks so beautiful, even in this thoughtful moment.

Night fell as we were eating dinner, and then we had the speeches and toasts. Without exception, everyone talked about how much Marnie and Tom laugh together, how absolutely right they are for each other, and how much they mean to us all. Marnie and Tom had their dance, then Marnie had selected a song to dance with her dad, and then there was our song, one that has enormous meaning for Marnie and me – L.O.V.E., by Nat King Cole. It’s a long story …. but you can bet I cried throughout the whole thing.

the tent, lit up with little bits of starlight and a lot of joy

Marnie's gannetts hanging from the tent rafters

FLYING HOME SUNDAY

Only because we had to, we flew out on Delta. I hate Delta. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever taken an uneventful Delta flight; I’m sure it would be memorable if I ever had a Delta flight that was uneventful because it would be the only such experience. We flew from Madison to Detroit, where we had to change planes (with a 1-hour layover), for the flight home to LaGuardia. Like all our other flights on this roundtrip, we got to the airport to find that the flight to Detroit was delayed by one hour. There were no other flights that would get us home that day, no matter how we arranged it. So we just had to hope for the best.

While we were in the air, someone – one of pilots, we think – came on and said this: “Sorry we got a late start, and we know most of you are worried about making your connections. But look! Look outside, it’s a beautiful day! It’s still a beautiful day to be flying!” And so on. Mr. Mindfulness, trying to reorient us. It made me laugh.

So we got to Detroit, the connecting flight knew there were 19 of us on the now-late plane, so we ran off the plane, raced down the terminal, and raced onto the very VERY hot plane. And then we sat. And we sat. And we sweated in the heat, and we waited. An announcement was made that we’re waiting on the pilot, who was coming in on another flight that had been delayed. Later, an announcement: the pilot has just landed! We should be taking off in about 5-10 minutes!  Later, another announcement: “Hi, I’m your new pilot with the replacement team. We have no idea what happened to the other flight crew. We should be taking off shortly.”

SO DELTA. We did finally land, only to face incredibly bad traffic. We got home considerably later than we dreamed we would. But I got a lot of knitting done; finished my , and got a great start on Peasy.

fantastic socks, taken against a backdrop of your standard Best Western bedspread.

Peasy! Easy! Fun!

the bit of lace on the front panels

And now, I begin my new life as (a) the mother of 2 married daughters, and (b) a freelancer. I’m finishing up the unpacking/straightening up details, finishing a lot of paperwork, and then I start my new life scrambling for work. Know anyone who needs (1) a manuscript developed, (2) a good writer, (3) a market research consultant, (4) a survey designer and programmer, or (5) a data analyst? If so, send them my way!

Thanks again for all your very lovely best wishes, they meant a lot to me.

Related posts

Tagged with: