Comments for thrums | my life, with needles and thread http://www.timethrums.com/blog Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:46:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on high-life living by Lori http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/high-life-living/comment-page-1/#comment-7173 Lori Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:46:34 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5732#comment-7173 roulez and dansez I understand, but I think Google Translate is steering me wrong on the last sentence. It says: "Soon the buds on the pecan!" :) roulez and dansez I understand, but I think Google Translate is steering me wrong on the last sentence. It says:

“Soon the buds on the pecan!”

:)

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]]> Comment on high-life living by Kty http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/high-life-living/comment-page-1/#comment-7172 Kty Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:03:13 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5732#comment-7172 Roulez, roulez ! Dansez, dansez ! Bientôt les bourgeons sur les pacaniers ! Roulez, roulez ! Dansez, dansez ! Bientôt les bourgeons sur les pacaniers !

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]]> Comment on friendship by Lori http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/friendship/comment-page-1/#comment-7151 Lori Sat, 18 Feb 2012 14:00:19 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5669#comment-7151 aww....thank you, you don't know how much that means to me. yesterday was a difficult day. huge hug to you, my friend. xo aww….thank you, you don’t know how much that means to me. yesterday was a difficult day. huge hug to you, my friend. xo

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]]> Comment on friendship by nancy http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/friendship/comment-page-1/#comment-7149 nancy Sat, 18 Feb 2012 02:21:57 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5669#comment-7149 I wish you could know how truly special you are. I wish you could know how truly special you are.

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]]> Comment on i think i can do *this* much by Lori http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/i-think-i-can-do-this-much/comment-page-1/#comment-7145 Lori Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:45:39 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5623#comment-7145 :) I've long said (kind of scandalously) that I thought Mother Theresa was evil..I didn't really mean <I>evil</i>, but I think her exhortations that poor people in Mexico and Central America must keep having children was just horrible. And you know, I signed a book at OUP titled <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Pathological-Altruism-Barbara-Oakley/dp/0199738572/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329507745&sr=8-1" rel="nofollow"><I>Pathological Altruism</i></a>. I completely agree with you, obviously. The truth is that it's all complicated and hard and the answer is somewhere in the muddy middle and there are no answers in the back of the damn book. So, as Vonnegut said in <I>Cat's Cradle</i>: We do, doodley do, doodley do, doodely do, What we must, muddily must, muddily must, muddily must; Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, Until we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust. :) Have a good weekend, and I've enjoyed this back and forth! :) I’ve long said (kind of scandalously) that I thought Mother Theresa was evil..I didn’t really mean evil, but I think her exhortations that poor people in Mexico and Central America must keep having children was just horrible. And you know, I signed a book at OUP titled Pathological Altruism. I completely agree with you, obviously.

The truth is that it’s all complicated and hard and the answer is somewhere in the muddy middle and there are no answers in the back of the damn book. So, as Vonnegut said in Cat’s Cradle:
We do, doodley do, doodley do, doodely do,
What we must, muddily must, muddily must, muddily must;
Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, muddily do,
Until we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust.

:) Have a good weekend, and I’ve enjoyed this back and forth!

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]]> Comment on i think i can do *this* much by Miss M http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/i-think-i-can-do-this-much/comment-page-1/#comment-7144 Miss M Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:37:20 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5623#comment-7144 I won't pretend I'm a stone cold rationalist. For what it's worth, I don't actually believe in those teachings AT ALL. People might always be seeking their own self-interest, I don't know, but I totally believe that that utility maximizing might include being altruistic or something. And we're subject to so many cognitive biases that, well, it's all a crapshoot anyway. Anyway, I thought about this all afternoon, about how Ghandi is supposed to be all that is great and good but how his serving of others was really sort of pathological (Mother Theresa also came to mind). It occurred to me that nowhere does he say you can't take care of yourself. Sometimes taking care of yourself before taking care of others means you can help them better in the long run. It's what I my sailing instructor taught us about saving someone who'd gone overboard. If there is danger, put them between you and the danger, because if you get hurt, you'll both drown. I was taking a very short run view of things (hello, cognitive bias. In this case, hyperbolic discounting). So I guess what I'm saying is, yes, you should definitely try. Try again, fail again, fail better, yaddayadda. I won’t pretend I’m a stone cold rationalist. For what it’s worth, I don’t actually believe in those teachings AT ALL. People might always be seeking their own self-interest, I don’t know, but I totally believe that that utility maximizing might include being altruistic or something. And we’re subject to so many cognitive biases that, well, it’s all a crapshoot anyway.

Anyway, I thought about this all afternoon, about how Ghandi is supposed to be all that is great and good but how his serving of others was really sort of pathological (Mother Theresa also came to mind). It occurred to me that nowhere does he say you can’t take care of yourself. Sometimes taking care of yourself before taking care of others means you can help them better in the long run. It’s what I my sailing instructor taught us about saving someone who’d gone overboard. If there is danger, put them between you and the danger, because if you get hurt, you’ll both drown. I was taking a very short run view of things (hello, cognitive bias. In this case, hyperbolic discounting).

So I guess what I’m saying is, yes, you should definitely try. Try again, fail again, fail better, yaddayadda.

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]]> Comment on i think i can do *this* much by Lori http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/i-think-i-can-do-this-much/comment-page-1/#comment-7142 Lori Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:15:49 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5623#comment-7142 first, thank you so much for saying such a kind thing -- i'm really glad you enjoy my posts. that made my day. and second, isn't it AMAZING how long-lasting those smiles are, the power they have? i love your story, and totally get it. it's especially powerful when it comes at just the right time, as it did for you and me. the thing is, you rarely know by looking at people just how much they need something. that reminds me of the anne lamott quote i love so much: "the world sometimes feels like the waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less OK for now need to take the tenderest possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes." sometimes it's as simple as a smile, isn't it. thank you for sharing your own experience, i loved it. first, thank you so much for saying such a kind thing — i’m really glad you enjoy my posts. that made my day. and second, isn’t it AMAZING how long-lasting those smiles are, the power they have? i love your story, and totally get it. it’s especially powerful when it comes at just the right time, as it did for you and me. the thing is, you rarely know by looking at people just how much they need something. that reminds me of the anne lamott quote i love so much: “the world sometimes feels like the waiting room of the emergency ward and that we who are more or less OK for now need to take the tenderest possible care of the more wounded people in the waiting room, until the healer comes.” sometimes it’s as simple as a smile, isn’t it. thank you for sharing your own experience, i loved it.

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]]> Comment on i think i can do *this* much by kristieinbc http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2012/02/i-think-i-can-do-this-much/comment-page-1/#comment-7140 kristieinbc Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:51:11 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=5623#comment-7140 I love your posts. They always make me think. I had a similar experience when we moved to a new city 10 years ago. It had been an awful day, the kind where you just need to go to bed and cross it off your calendar. I was at the grocery store and an elderly gentleman smiled at me just as you described, said hello, and walked on down the aisle. I burst into tears (the good kind, not the bad). That simple act of genuine kindness shifted the day, and has become embedded in my memory forever. Just like the guy you encountered all those years ago. I love your posts. They always make me think. I had a similar experience when we moved to a new city 10 years ago. It had been an awful day, the kind where you just need to go to bed and cross it off your calendar. I was at the grocery store and an elderly gentleman smiled at me just as you described, said hello, and walked on down the aisle. I burst into tears (the good kind, not the bad). That simple act of genuine kindness shifted the day, and has become embedded in my memory forever. Just like the guy you encountered all those years ago.

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]]> Comment on smoking (pork butt) by the best…. http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2011/10/smoking-pork-butt/comment-page-1/#comment-7139 the best…. Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:40:01 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=4661#comment-7139 [...] what a terribly hard decision, given my travels to Turkey, Vietnam, Borneo, Malaysia, Chicago, and Austin — but if I want to choose the most forever-memorable, it’d have to be the Mekong River [...] [...] what a terribly hard decision, given my travels to Turkey, Vietnam, Borneo, Malaysia, Chicago, and Austin — but if I want to choose the most forever-memorable, it’d have to be the Mekong River [...]

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]]> Comment on toddling by the best…. http://www.timethrums.com/blog/2011/09/toddling/comment-page-1/#comment-7138 the best…. Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:39:30 +0000 http://www.timethrums.com/blog/?p=4314#comment-7138 [...] — oh, what a terribly hard decision, given my travels to Turkey, Vietnam, Borneo, Malaysia, Chicago, and Austin — but if I want to choose the most forever-memorable, it’d have to be the [...] [...] — oh, what a terribly hard decision, given my travels to Turkey, Vietnam, Borneo, Malaysia, Chicago, and Austin — but if I want to choose the most forever-memorable, it’d have to be the [...]

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