Exercise
Yesterday I rested from exercise, but I did walk a good bit. I’d planned to do some light yoga but the day got away from me with work, and I had a one-hour meeting in midtown plus I had writing group in the evening so I had to focus and get some work done. But that’s ok; it was meant to be a rest day anyway.
To stay on my revised schedule, this morning I did 30 minutes of flexibility yoga (followed by 15 minutes of meditation) and BOY am I inflexible. What’s so striking is how severely limited I am on my left side; I did the inverted triangle pose (I think that’s the name of it) just fine on the right side, and simply could not do it on the left. I had no idea how severe this limitation is. I see it in my warmups too, of course. Also, downward dog is hard, which feels bad because I used to be able to do it without any trouble. Now, my heels can’t touch the floor, I shake while I hold it, and I get out of breath.
Another profound limitation here at the beginning is strength in my back; I knew this one, and have suffered lower back pain for a long time. The flexibility yoga workout focuses a good bit on back flexibility, preparing for inverted poses. I can’t do the preparation poses, even with blocks or chairs. It’s frustrating, and a little discouraging, but luckily pain stops me from pushing myself beyond what I should be doing. At least now, at least today, I’m frustrated and a little discouraged but patient with myself. I have to start somewhere, and that’s where I am now.
Eating is my major challenge at this point, but I’m in discussions with my trainer about it. 
YAY for trainers.
Body image
This morning I put on a sports bra and yoga pants (with the wide waistband folded down), stood in front of a white wall, set up the camera on the tripod, closed my eyes, and took two photos: one front view, and one side view. I even looked at them before I filed them away in a folder on my computer, promising myself not to look at them again for one month, when I’ll take another set. It was kind of hard, but you know, it wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be (success!). I kind of knew how I looked, and it probably helped that I’ve lost a bit of weight over the last couple of weeks, and I could see some bits that were ok — I have a small waist compared to my bust and hips. I like that.
Again today, as every day since I started this change, I dressed. I didn’t just get dressed, I dressed. I put together an outfit (black skirt and tights, white camisole, light gray sweater, plus my garnet wedding necklace and earrings), moisturized my face and put a bit of eyeliner and mascara on, and fixed my hair (a french braid across the front continuing to braid the rest). A couple days ago I looked around YouTube for hair tutorial videos and found a few really good ones that would work for my hair. I feel kind of tender towards myself about all this; these are the things teenagers learn, and I’m 52.
Anyway, I think I look good. It’s easier to stand up straight, for a whole bunch of reasons.
