Tag Archives: happy

looking back and taking stock

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me, june 17, 2011. the smallest pants i own, and they're loose around my waist. SUCH PROBLEMS.

Since I always record what I did the last time and the current time, I can see progress — on Tuesday I did 22 kettlebell swings, today I did 25. On Monday, I held plank for 60 seconds and on Thursday, for 70 seconds. That’s always such a good feeling, even if the increments are so very tiny. But they’re always increments, not decrements. I am getting stronger, more flexible, straighter, bendier, all those wonderful things.

I can plot graphs of my physical changes (and you can bet I have excel spreadsheets with beautiful graphs of the change scores). That feels so good. Fat going down, muscle going up. Tiny changes month to month — half an inch here, quarter of an inch there — but changes in the best directions.

Still, even though I am always aware of the improvement, it wasn’t until I looked back at the very beginning posts on this blog that I really SEE it. My starting goals:

strength: I don’t have specific endpoints in mind per se, but I look forward to being able to hold plank for 30 seconds, side plank for 10 seconds; to doing regular squats with a kettlebell; 30 pushups modified, and eventually unmodified. I look forward to being able to walk around carrying bags without being worn out so easily. I look forward to feeling strong.

flexibility: my back is so spasmic and weak, and I want to be able to bend and stretch and pick up things without it going out; I want my hip joints to be flexible and without pain; I want my hamstrings to be flexible; I want to be able to do yoga again.

And I look back at the first recordkeeping I did:

  • modified squats: 3 sets of 10 (the last set was nearly too much)
  • modified pushups: 3 sets of 10
  • plank: 3 sets, 6 seconds
  • modified side plank: 3 sets, 10 seconds but not up yet
  • hip thrust: 3 sets of 20 (really out of breath in the middle of 2nd set)
  • leg raise: 3 sets of 20 both legs (out of breath and shaky in the 2nd set)

Except for the births of my kids and their accomplishments, and getting my education, nothing else makes me as proud as this. I am amazed and so incredibly grateful.  Aside from the quantitative improvements, so much else has changed — I don’t say/think such hateful things to and about myself any more. I think I look pretty great, and I enjoy getting dressed and don’t skulk around, hoping not to be seen. I believe I have never looked better than I do now, at 52, and isn’t that something?!

Thank you Marnie, for teaching me and inspiring me, and encouraging me and being excited with me.

W9, D5

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I am still really sore from this workout on Tuesday. Muscles big and tiny around my waist, hips, and thighs are all in revolt against any movement big or small. They scream at me. So with that, today I did:

Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges

exercise last time TODAY
kettlebell swing (goal 50) 22 25
slow crunches 30 30
kettlebell squats (goal 15) 11 12
side knee kicks 15 20
hip raises (goal 15) 8/8/9 9/9/10
leg raises 15 15
burpees (goal 10) 6 6

 

Goddamn. I may not have a deep or heavy relationship with the iron [yet] but my little baby iron and my iron will do not lie.

 

W5, D5

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This was the last time strength yoga will be part of my workout routine. I enjoyed doing it today, and did the whole thing without faltering, and definitely feel like it’s time to move on to just strength training as my formal workout routine. I’ll continue doing yoga, but other kinds….yoga for flexibility, for energy, for relaxation, etc. Going forward, all the focus of my strength training will be on strength training.

Remember when I started 5 weeks ago, and I couldn’t even do yoga? How thrilled I was to hold plank for 5 seconds? I was proud of that, because you have to start somewhere and I was starting from nothing. I can hold plank three times as long, now. I’ve added new exercises, and now I own a kettlebell and look forward to using it! Who is this strange strength-training-loving person?

Eating is still the hardest part of this change, but it’s less hard than it was. I’m significantly less freaked out by having to eat three times a day (if only because I’ve decided it doesn’t have to be a whole lot of food, just jam-packed the right food), and I haven’t had flour or processed food or sweets in about a week. I don’t miss them physically, no cravings, just an intellectual thing, like ooh, wouldn’t a piece of toast be good. But it’s not a physical craving. The only time I really wanted something was last night, around 11pm, when Marc ate an ice cream sandwich. I wanted one, and I felt it physically. I thought about how I’d regret it afterwards, because I’m doing so well, and it passed.

I believe and hope it’s temporary, but my interest in everything else has stopped, almost completely. I don’t have an interest in reading, beyond reading for my work. I don’t have an interest in knitting, even when watching tv at night with Marc. I don’t have an interest in baking — probably because I can’t eat what I bake, anyway. :) I think about this stuff constantly, about how I did that day, about how I’ll do the next time, about how to organize the day and week, things like that. I’m happy for the focus now, as I’m getting new habits for my life, and hope the rest will come back when this doesn’t need so much of my attention. I did go to my poetry group on Tuesday, and my writing group last night, so it’s still there inside me [obviously].

So onward and upward! New routine this weekend, from my beautiful wonderful magnificent trainer, continued clean eating, and continued care with my appearance. It’s been an amazing, amazing, amazing five weeks.