Today I did:
Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| kettlebell swing (goal 50) | 28 | 30 |
| slow crunches | 30 | 30 |
| kettlebell squats (goal 15) | 12 | 13 |
| side knee kicks | 23 | 25 |
| hip raises (goal 15) | 11 | 12 |
| leg raises | 15 | 15 |
| burpees (goal 10) | 0 | 5 |
I’m talking to you!!
Feeling better today blues-wise, though my guts have not been good for about a week. Bubbly. Unpleasant. My workout this week is a little off — life got in the way yesterday so instead I’m doing upper body today, and I’ll do lower body tomorrow. Just scooting these one day over on the calendar. Life. Anyway, today I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 25 2-armed | 4 one-armed!!! |
| plank | 75 | 80 |
| tricep pulls | 13 | 14 |
| Russian twist | 30 (without kettlebell) | 20 (with kettlebell) |
| pushups | 6 | 7 |
| side planks | 13 | 14 |
When I was doing the floor presses, my arms looked like the videos of you and Tom when you’re lifting at the very edge: there is wobbling going on, and it’s SUPREME WORK. And I’m screaming vile prayers out loud during plank with great force, trying to get to the end of each one. 
Today I found that singing along [loudly] to Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother really does help.
I had to sit on a cushion to do the Russian twists with the kettlebell, otherwise it felt (and sounded) like I was grinding my tailbone into the floor. It may have made it a little bit harder, because I was having to work a little harder to stay stable on a cushion. But good me! Actually, this was the first time that a crunch-kind of thing felt hard in the same way the others feel hard.
Still glum, still blue, and I had to do this MUCH earlier than I wanted to/was ready to, because I had to get my shower in time for the bathroom to dry out before the 2pm patient…since I’m going to book club tonight, the shower was not optional. Today I did:
Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| kettlebell swing (goal 50) | 25 | 28 |
| slow crunches | 30 | 30 |
| kettlebell squats (goal 15) | 12 | 12 |
| side knee kicks | 20 | 23 |
| hip raises (goal 15) | 9/9/10 | 11/11/11 |
| leg raises | 15 | 15 |
| burpees (goal 10) | 6 | 0 |
Today, just showing up was leveling up. At the end of each rep, I thought that’s it for today, I just can’t. I did push through, obviously, except for the burpees. I thought about how important it is for me, toward myself, to do it anyway. How this is what discipline means, doing it anyway.
It’s also very hard to do this all alone. It means everything, having my Chicago trainer and cheerleader, but I’m also doing this all alone, in a glum room.
Feeling blue today, but today I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 22 | 25 |
| plank | 70 | 75 |
| tricep pulls | 12 | 13 |
| bicycle crunch last week — RUSSIAN TWIST this week | 30 | 30* |
| pushups | 6 | 6 |
| side planks | 12 | 13 |
*Maybe this was 60 — I don’t know how to count it. I counted one round-trip (i.e., touch to the right, touch to the left) as 1. So I did 30 round trips. Is that 30, or 60?
I just felt very weak, at everything. When I started the kettlebell press, from the very first one I felt as weak as if I were doing it all for the first time. I have no feeling of being strong, it’s odd.
me, june 17, 2011. the smallest pants i own, and they're loose around my waist. SUCH PROBLEMS.
Since I always record what I did the last time and the current time, I can see progress — on Tuesday I did 22 kettlebell swings, today I did 25. On Monday, I held plank for 60 seconds and on Thursday, for 70 seconds. That’s always such a good feeling, even if the increments are so very tiny. But they’re always increments, not decrements. I am getting stronger, more flexible, straighter, bendier, all those wonderful things.
I can plot graphs of my physical changes (and you can bet I have excel spreadsheets with beautiful graphs of the change scores). That feels so good. Fat going down, muscle going up. Tiny changes month to month — half an inch here, quarter of an inch there — but changes in the best directions.
Still, even though I am always aware of the improvement, it wasn’t until I looked back at the very beginning posts on this blog that I really SEE it. My starting goals:
strength: I don’t have specific endpoints in mind per se, but I look forward to being able to hold plank for 30 seconds, side plank for 10 seconds; to doing regular squats with a kettlebell; 30 pushups modified, and eventually unmodified. I look forward to being able to walk around carrying bags without being worn out so easily. I look forward to feeling strong.
flexibility: my back is so spasmic and weak, and I want to be able to bend and stretch and pick up things without it going out; I want my hip joints to be flexible and without pain; I want my hamstrings to be flexible; I want to be able to do yoga again.
And I look back at the first recordkeeping I did:
Except for the births of my kids and their accomplishments, and getting my education, nothing else makes me as proud as this. I am amazed and so incredibly grateful. Aside from the quantitative improvements, so much else has changed — I don’t say/think such hateful things to and about myself any more. I think I look pretty great, and I enjoy getting dressed and don’t skulk around, hoping not to be seen. I believe I have never looked better than I do now, at 52, and isn’t that something?!
Thank you Marnie, for teaching me and inspiring me, and encouraging me and being excited with me.
I am still really sore from this workout on Tuesday. Muscles big and tiny around my waist, hips, and thighs are all in revolt against any movement big or small. They scream at me. So with that, today I did:
Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| kettlebell swing (goal 50) | 22 | 25 |
| slow crunches | 30 | 30 |
| kettlebell squats (goal 15) | 11 | 12 |
| side knee kicks | 15 | 20 |
| hip raises (goal 15) | 8/8/9 | 9/9/10 |
| leg raises | 15 | 15 |
| burpees (goal 10) | 6 | 6 |
Goddamn. I may not have a deep or heavy relationship with the iron [yet] but my little baby iron and my iron will do not lie.
BOY am I paying for not working out for two solid weeks! Especially with the lower body, since I did at least do one day of upper body last week and the week before. The muscles between my waist and knees are all so sore, they woke me up during the night every time I moved with their little tiny screams. I wasn’t thinking — I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard to go past where I was three weeks ago. Ah well. Live and learn. So today was upper body, and I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 20 | 22 |
| plank | 60 | 70!! |
| tricep pulls | 11 | 12 |
| bicycle crunch | 30 | 30 |
| pushups | 5 | 6 |
| side planks | 12 | 12 |
Hell yeah. As always, I tried doing the one-armed kettlebell floor press and I’m just nowhere near being able to even get it up off the floor, much less up in the air. It’s weird and bewildering how big a NOWAY it is. I keep thinking that I’m getting strength with all the rest so surely I can at least get it off the floor, but I can’t even get it up a hair. Weird. I’ll just keep trying.
I’m ready to level up on the crunches, to that next fucker you showed me, the sitting up in a V-shape and moving side to side. I did 5 of those after I finished and oh yeah, that’ll be something.
It’s been 3 weeks since I did a lower-body workout. (I didn’t do it for the last 2 weeks, so I guess that means 3? Or 2….anyway. Three, I think.) Today I did:
Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| kettlebell swing (goal 50) | 20 | 22 |
| slow crunches | 30 | 30 |
| kettlebell squats (goal 15) | 10 | 11 |
| side knee kicks | 12 | 15 |
| hip raises (goal 15) | 8 | 8/8/9 |
| leg raises | 15 | 15 |
| burpees (goal 10) | 6 | 6 |
For the first time, I wasn’t scared about doing this. Maybe that’s just because it’s been so long I didn’t remember how exhausting it is. I’d planned to push for one more burpee, but NO. Just, NO.
Last week was a bad week, too much chaos and trouble got in the way of taking good care of myself. I don’t like that, one little bit, and I didn’t like it last week, one little bit, while it was going on. So for the second week in a row, I’m starting from a week-long break. At least today I wasn’t fighting snot, so today I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 15 | 20 |
| plank | 55/55/55 | 60/60/60 |
| tricep pulls | 10 | 11 |
| bicycle crunch | 30 | 30 |
| pushups | 5 | 5 |
| side planks | 10 | 11 |
Hell yeah.
After a week off due to some kind of respiratory deal — cold, flu, allergies, who knows — I’m back today. I’m not at 100%, I’m still phlegmy, but I decided to do what I could and not push if it became respiratorily hard. So! Today I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 15 | 15 |
| plank | 50/50/50 | 55/55/55 |
| tricep pulls | 10 | 10 |
| bicycle crunch | 30 | 30 |
| pushups | 5 | 5 |
| side planks | 10 | 10 |
It was hard, and I had to keep stopping to blow my nose. I was thinking I’d only be able to do one rep of the last two (pushups and side planks) because my back started having spasms. I was ok with that, but then decided to try the 2nd rep. And then decided to try the 3rd. And then I was finished. It wasn’t my most noble effort, but I did it to completion, and I’m good with that.
Today I did:
Warm up: 20 arm swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| 2-armed kettlebell floor presses (goal 15 one-armed) | 12 | 15 |
| plank | 45/40/40 | 50/50/50 |
| tricep pulls | 10 | 10 |
| bicycle crunch | 30 | 30 |
| pushups | 5 | 5 |
| side planks | 10 | 10 |
Man. The things I can do, I can do (hello plank my dearest friend) and the things I can’t I struggle with, but that’s exactly what this is! Notes:
I tried doing a one-arm kettlebell floor press and I just cannot lift it, period. I tried both arms, and the answer is a no. Unfortunately, I can do 15 with two arms, a bit hard especially on the 3rd rep, but not hard. I’ll just keep trying the one-arm, and I guess I keep it at 15 with both arms? There’s no point in doing more?
I didn’t make any headway with the rest in terms of doing more, and in fact it was very very hard just to do these today. I didn’t feel very strong (which I’m saying in a relative way of course, since I’m not yet strong), and I had to do this early in the morning to make the day work so maybe that’s some of it. I don’t usually do this so early in the day.
Today I did:
Warm up: 20 leg swings on both sides
Warm up: 20 spider man lunges
| exercise | last time | TODAY |
|---|---|---|
| kettlebell swing (goal 50) | 15 | 20 |
| slow crunches | 30 | 30 |
| kettlebell squats (goal 15) | 10 | 10 |
| side knee kicks | 10 | 12 |
| hip raises (goal 15) | 8 | 8 |
| leg raises | 15 | 15 |
| burpees (goal 10) | 6 | 6 |
And I have all these small bruises around my arms and legs. Are they related to using my muscles? They’re just yellow-green, and slightly smaller than a dime.
Yay me, finishing week 6! They say it takes 6 weeks to form a habit.
WOW, and WHOA:
Warm up: 20 arm swings, both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
Three reps of all the below:
Marnie! Marnie! Marnie!
Well — as much as anything, this was about cardio. MAN. But I did it, even if I really did have to take breaks, as you suggested. It’s a starting point:
I was honestly terrified of this workout, for some reason. I’m not sure why; I was afraid I couldn’t do it, maybe that would then take the wind out of my sails (and I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough wind in my sails to do it all). It was actually FUN, even if I did have to take all those breaks. I was soaked – nay, drenched – in sweat and it actually felt pretty wonderful. I’m at my limit with this, my first day, so it’s upward from here. I can actually see how the kettle bell swing will increase pretty quickly.
wheeee!
Starting my new routine today, using my darling little kettlebell. Who know 15 pounds could be so very heavy! But here’s how I did, on my first upper-body day:
Warm up: 20 arm swings, both sides
Warm up: 20 arm-against-wall raises
Three reps of all the below:
OK, notes:
When I finished the last side plank, I tried to get up and just couldn’t. My muscles were quivering and would not get me up off the ground. I thought that was so funny. Maybe next time.
I tried doing the one-armed press, and was not strong enough. I instead did them holding the kettlebell with both hands, over the center of my chest, and pressing, and you see how many I did. Should I instead fill bags with water and do one-armed presses you mentioned? [side note: 10 were hard! By the last one of the last set, I was praying.]
Look at my plank!! No wonder I love it so. One the first one, I felt like I could have kept going, but 20 was quivery hard; by the time I was on the 3rd rep, 20 was almost impossible.
Tricep pulls are so hard, but in a fun way.
The muscles along the tops of my shoulders are letting me know they exist. Also: every other muscle around and above my waist. I love this routine!
This was the last time strength yoga will be part of my workout routine. I enjoyed doing it today, and did the whole thing without faltering, and definitely feel like it’s time to move on to just strength training as my formal workout routine. I’ll continue doing yoga, but other kinds….yoga for flexibility, for energy, for relaxation, etc. Going forward, all the focus of my strength training will be on strength training.
Remember when I started 5 weeks ago, and I couldn’t even do yoga? How thrilled I was to hold plank for 5 seconds? I was proud of that, because you have to start somewhere and I was starting from nothing. I can hold plank three times as long, now. I’ve added new exercises, and now I own a kettlebell and look forward to using it! Who is this strange strength-training-loving person?
Eating is still the hardest part of this change, but it’s less hard than it was. I’m significantly less freaked out by having to eat three times a day (if only because I’ve decided it doesn’t have to be a whole lot of food, just jam-packed the right food), and I haven’t had flour or processed food or sweets in about a week. I don’t miss them physically, no cravings, just an intellectual thing, like ooh, wouldn’t a piece of toast be good. But it’s not a physical craving. The only time I really wanted something was last night, around 11pm, when Marc ate an ice cream sandwich. I wanted one, and I felt it physically. I thought about how I’d regret it afterwards, because I’m doing so well, and it passed.
I believe and hope it’s temporary, but my interest in everything else has stopped, almost completely. I don’t have an interest in reading, beyond reading for my work. I don’t have an interest in knitting, even when watching tv at night with Marc. I don’t have an interest in baking — probably because I can’t eat what I bake, anyway. I think about this stuff constantly, about how I did that day, about how I’ll do the next time, about how to organize the day and week, things like that. I’m happy for the focus now, as I’m getting new habits for my life, and hope the rest will come back when this doesn’t need so much of my attention. I did go to my poetry group on Tuesday, and my writing group last night, so it’s still there inside me [obviously].
So onward and upward! New routine this weekend, from my beautiful wonderful magnificent trainer, continued clean eating, and continued care with my appearance. It’s been an amazing, amazing, amazing five weeks.
OH MY GOD. Not only was today extremely hard, after my first set of plank/side plank my mind yelled this at me: NO. STOP. NO MORE. Really, it was like, like it yelled that at me and there was no room to argue. I had to rest a minute, and I said fuck you, YES. It was a very very hard workout today, and I felt my spirit falter a lot. I was very nauseous at the end of it, and another thing I learned is that I have to wait and recover before I get in the shower. I smelled so bad, I went straight to the shower and was honestly afraid I was going to fall a number of times.
But I did this:
Warm Ups:
ROUTINE:
That loud no was shocking, and hard. It kind of pissed me off, and when I yelled back my fuck you yes I was mad. I kept flagging, wanting to take shortcuts or do the exercises in some half-ass way just to finish, but I talked out loud to myself and said no, don’t cheat yourself. You’re doing all this already, don’t cheat yourself. And I had to do the counting out loud, with ferocity to keep myself going.
To make the schedule work today, with Marc’s patients, I did my workout at 9:30 in his office, in order to get my shower and have the bathroom unhumidified and dried out in time. Unfortunately, at 8 I’d made some eggs with onion and fresh spinach — just 2 eggs, 1/2 T of butter, and a cup of green tea. I think having that food in my stomach so close to my workout didn’t help, and might partially explain my nausea.
But this is all very much an aerobic exercise for me. My heart rate gets very high and stays high and hard, and I pant and feel breathless.
I guess this is why it’s called a workout.
Well, strength yoga day again and we need to talk. Since I’m just working with videos, and since it’s not difficult any more (undoubtedly because my muscles are even a little bit stronger and not as shocked by being moved around), I wonder if it’s time to set this aside as part of my weekly routine?
Today I went through the whole thing, and was able to do every pose, held as long as he held them, and while my form isn’t always perfect — my heels just won’t get to the floor with downward dog yet — it’s not really challenging. The only way I could level up here would be to just do the routine a second time through.
You’d mentioned keeping up this pattern until May 22, and if you still think that’s the best idea of course I’ll do it that way! It’s just one more week. I think where I’d like to go with it is to do it outside my workout schedule. So perhaps do MWF strength training, with TTh as rest days, throw in something on the weekend, and do yoga as regularly as I like. I think there’s a lot I can gain from yoga, but it’s time to take it outside my strengthening program. Does that make sense to you?
And yay for this exercise helping me sleep better!!!
This weekend, I felt antsy. I kept getting up and walking around, going to the window, walking around the apartment. Sit down….get up and walk around, go to the window, walk around. Antsy. Not in that psychological way, not like the heebie jeebies.
You know what I think?
I think I was wanting to do something physical.
YIKES.
Warm Ups:
ROUTINE:
[i think to myself, i think "really? now the fucking burpees?!"][and note: i think this before each of the 3 sets.]
Today was hard. Seriously. Like, I was kind of nauseous, and it was not fun. That’s OK that it wasn’t fun! It was harder than just a little bit harder, but I did it and if I can do this exact thing again on Wednesday I’ll feel good about that.
My pause between pairs of sets (i.e., burpee/crunch pause burpee/crunch pause) was a little bit longer than usual. My hair is soaked and my shirt is soaked, too. I do not smell good. My form on the crunches needs to be improved, a lot; Marnie, do I do fewer, but with the best form, or 30 with a form that needs work but is at least good enough not to be hurting me? (i.e., I’m not using my neck muscles, I’m using my abs, but my legs are not parallel to the floor, by any means.)
For breakfast I ate 3 eggs, scrambled in butter. I’ve had a lot of water, and I am going to have tuna for lunch. Feeling shaky and exhausted!
edit: for lunch i had a small can of tuna, with chopped onions, lots of pepper, and torn-up fresh spinach. really good!